A Florida fair warning

You probably will not find this mentioned by any Florida travel guide or Chamber of Commerce website, but it's one of the most important issues to remember if you're moving to, or even just visiting, the Sunshine State.

I've discovered this menace and tried to avoid it in the three years my wife Amy and I have lived Down South. Let's just say I'm creating a real buzz about this conundrum. 

Oh, yes, we know about destructive hurricanes and frequent lightning in Florida. We've heard about alligators and snakes. Let's not forget mosquitoes.

But . . .

She's looking for . . . you!

This problem is more widespread and, frankly, much more annoying. Dangerous? It's not clear to me if they are a health problem. But I would not be surprised.

Beware of . . . noseeums.

Noseeums.

That's what they're called by the natives.

Science calls them Ceratopogonidae. You probably can guess what I call them privately. 😡

I just returned from trying to relax on our back patio in Palm Harbor, along the Gulf Coast of Florida, just north of Clearwater and Tampa Bay. It was a beautiful evening: the Sun was dipping low, the temperature was tolerable and the Steelers had just won. I had wonderful music playing by pianist Wayne Gratz – another Florida resident and a favorite of mine – and a cold Aussie lager.

Despite the liberal application of bug spray, these little devils chewed me up and ended my outdoor enjoyment. It's the female of the species who dig into the skin of humans (and other creatures), seeking a component of blood to help with reproductive issues.

Are the bites painful? Well, they're something akin to a flying stinging nettle. No, really.  You know that woodland plant from the northern climes. The worst part is the persistence of the itch, which goes on and on . . . and on and on.

And they're SO small. They're so hard to see. That's why they're called noseeums – no see 'ums? Get it?

You will if you come to the Sunshine State.

Tiny, nearly invisible menace: the "noseeum."

So let's consider this a public service performed by your good friend Pete. Rather than ramble on about the little “bucking fugs” as my friend Tom Reiland might call them, I'll share this Wikipedia link with you.

Indeed, you may not feel the Seven-Year Itch from these buggers. It may seem like it.

Feel free to thank me. For I have saved you! 😍